How to Help Your Depressed Husband

When you got married, you promised to love and take care of your partner through good times and bad. Even though it may have been easy to stay together when you were both happy, your vows are put to the test when one of you is depressed. Having a depressed husband can make you feel alone. You might feel like you’re the only one in the world going through this. About sixteen million Americans have depression.

Depression can happen to anyone, no matter how old they are, what gender they are, or how much they know about mental health. One partner being depressed can make it harder to keep a marriage together, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail just because one of you is depressed.

You and your partner can have a happy, fulfilling relationship. By learning how to deal with a depressed partner, you can go from being frustrated to being able to keep your marriage as happy as you both know it can be.

What causes depression?

Even though no one knows for sure what causes depression, doctors think it has to do with a mix of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. That is to say, your partner could be depressed because it’s in their genes or because they’re going through a hard time or a traumatic event.

Different things can cause depression in men and women. Women are almost twice as likely as men to be told they have depression. There are some biological reasons for this, such as the fact that hormone levels change before and after pregnancy and before and after menopause.

There are also cultural factors that make women more likely to be depressed, like having to deal with extra stress to build high-powered careers and do most of the housework while still looking happy, beautiful, and young. For one person to carry around, that’s a lot of weight.

Depression in men can also be caused by things in their culture. They aren’t encouraged to think about how they feel, so they might find it hard to explain or even figure out what’s going on. They might feel like they can’t talk to their friends or family about how they are feeling. Men tend to be alone, which can make their symptoms worse and make it harder to figure out how to help them.

How do I know if my partner is depressed?

Depression symptoms vary from person to person, but your partner is probably depressed if they feel sad or anxious most of the time, have trouble sleeping, have lost interest or energy in things they used to enjoy, or talk about feeling worthless or hopeless. Depression is also clear when someone uses drugs or alcohol to deal with how they feel

Another sign is a change in how the person shows how they feel. A depressed partner who is usually calm may start crying for no apparent reason, or a partner who usually shows a lot of emotion may stop feeling anything. When you’re trying to figure out how to help a depressed partner, it’s also important to know that the signs can be different for men and women.

A woman who is depressed may cry more often, lose interest in seeing friends, sleep too much, or often eat too much. She might also not want to talk to you about personal things that help you stay close, or she might get angry when you ask her what’s wrong.

Men can show many different signs of depression. Men’s sadness can sometimes come out in the form of anger or aggression. That makes it hard to figure out what’s wrong with them because we usually think of depression as being sad. As an alternative to being alone, a man might spend more time with his friends or stay at work late. He is also more likely to drink too much than a depressed woman, and he could act in strange ways or take risks.

There’s no lab test to prove that someone is depressed, so it’s hard to know when and how to help a partner who is depressed. But if you care enough to want to help them, that’s usually a sign that they do need help.

How to help your depressed husband

Figuring out how to deal with a spouse who is depressed is like walking a tightrope. If you push too hard, they may pull away even more. If you don’t push them enough, you won’t help them grow. But there is still hope. You can help in a few different ways.

Accept your partner and love them. One of the best things you can do for a partner who is having trouble is to let him know that you still love and accept him, no matter how he feels about himself. “I’m not saying it’s easy to accept,” says Archibald Hart, a psychologist, and the author of the book Dark Clouds, Silver Linings.

“But you have to face the problem for what it is. It’s there whether you like it or not, and it’s your job to show love and acceptance in any way that you can.” This could take the form of a loving touch or hug, a kind word in a card, or a thoughtful gift.

Be present.

There are many ways to help a spouse who is depressed, but the easiest and most important is to just listen. You might think, “I listen to my partner all the time,” but do you really listen? Are you really in the moment, without your phone or other things to distract you?

Don’t do that anymore. Make eye contact and change your body language to show that you are open and willing to listen. Give your partner nonverbal feedback, like nodding, and think about what they are saying before you answer. This kind of communication can make you feel less alone right away, which is a common feeling for people with depression.

Get better at communication.

If they don’t want to talk, don’t try too hard to get them to. Wait a couple of days and then bring it up again. Keep in mind that some people, especially men, find it harder to say what they think and feel. Assure your husband or partner that you are asking about his health out of concern, not because you think he is sick. Keep trying to talk to him by staying in the present, being honest about how you feel, and trying to see things from his point of view.

Get in touch with people.

According to the American Psychological Association, men are four times more likely than women to take their own lives. Keep in mind that being alone is a big reason people think about killing themselves. Many men rely on their partners for friends, so if your husband or partner is depressed, try to get him out of the house and around people who care about him.

To help a husband who is depressed, don’t let him spend time alone. Try to get him to leave the house and spend time with people who care about him. Don’t think that the fact that he spends more time with people he knows from work or at happy hour is a sign of social support. He needs to be with people who know him and can help him and give him advice.

Urge them to see a professional.

If you think your partner has this mental health problem, the first thing you should do is encourage them to talk to a medical health professional. There may be something at the root of the problem that hasn’t been fixed. You can contact us and connect your husband with a therapist.

Even though depressed men are even less likely to want to talk about their problems than depressed women, it may help them to know that their therapist is impartial. You can also reassure them that there are many different kinds of therapy and that they don’t have to stick with the one they don’t like.