What Does Forgiveness Mean?
Perhaps one of the most thought-provoking and challenging things Jesus ever commanded was for us to forgive those who have offended us seventy-seven times if necessary (Matthew 18:20-21 NIV). He had many other things to say about forgiveness and practiced it remarkably even while dying unjustly on the cross (Luke 23:34, NIV). Why is forgiveness often such a difficult thing to do? What does it truly mean to forgive? What Forgiveness Is Not If we are honest with ourselves (and with God), forgiveness is not something that comes easily. It is often difficult to let go of the emotions that arise from experiencing injustice. A partial explanation of this is that anger, bitterness, and resentment – emotions commonly associated with unforgiveness – are immensely powerful emotions, and they can be a form of toxic fuel. In many cases, we never receive an apology let alone restitution. Should forgiveness wait until there is an apology or acknowledgment of guilt? The answer is no. Forgiveness is different from being satisfied with justice. The parent who looks the murderer of their child in the eye and forgives them does not receive their child back. It is not justice. There will remain an empty space in their life, but with forgiveness, that emptiness will no longer be filled with bitterness, resentment, and anger. Forgiveness is also not reconciliation. You are not bound to make amends with the party who hurt you. Forgiveness does not require you to build a bridge that was broken. The abused child may find it in their hearts to forgive their abuser, but that does not mean the relationship is mended, nor does it mean they should try to repair it. In many cases, it is wisdom and self-preservation to cut ties with the one who has damaged you. Forgiveness [...]
