Couples Counseling Archives | Little Elm Christian Counseling

The Lie at the Root: Infidelity in Marriage

The Lie at the Root: Infidelity in Marriage

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T08:57:06+00:00August 31st, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Things that seem like a good idea from one standpoint are often poor decisions when viewed with sober judgment. In our lives, we can look at the past and see how foolish or misguided we were when we made certain decisions or took a path we thought would lead to happiness. Such a thing is infidelity in marriage. Wisdom is being able to see a thing for what it is in the moment, and not fall prey to illusions about your own intentions or the possible outcomes. We need wisdom when it comes to sex and relationships because we can easily mislead ourselves as well as get misled. Why infidelity happens in marriage There are many possible reasons why infidelity happens in a marriage. Sometimes it occurs as a form of revenge against one spouse for something they did or did not do. At other times, it occurs because something is missing in the relationship, such as a sense of intimacy or not feeling appreciated. While unhappiness is often a cause of infidelity, at other times it occurs because of boredom, or simply because the opportunity arises spontaneously. Infidelity also often occurs because of the desire to explore aspects of oneself that aren’t being given care or attention within the marriage. Marital unfaithfulness can also occur when a person reconnects with an old flame, for instance. This can lead to the desire to tread the path not taken earlier in life and to reawaken old desires. Whatever you may think of those reasons, they are real reasons why people have affairs. Those affairs may be physical and sexual, or they can be emotional affairs that happen at a distance via phone or the internet. Either way, one is crossing a boundary and having an inappropriate relationship that dishonors the marriage. [...]

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10 Reasons Why Premarital Counseling is Important

10 Reasons Why Premarital Counseling is Important

Joanna Kucherera2024-09-27T09:25:51+00:00June 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Couples that have been seeing each other for a while and are ready to take the next step in their relationship usually seek the services of a counselor or religious leader to walk them through premarital counseling. Not all couples do this, but it is highly recommended. Premarital counseling is a type of therapy for couples who wish to marry and want help to understand the commitment they are about to make. Its purpose is to arm the couple with information and skills for marriage, help discuss problematic issues in the relationship, and evaluate where they stand with each other. Why is premarital counseling important? Each couple is unique. Motivations for seeking pre-marital counseling differ from couple to couple, however, its importance cannot be understated. Below are some common reasons why people should consider doing pre-marital counseling before they get married: Safe and confidential third party. Couples need a safe, confidential place to discuss their relationship. Premarital counseling provides this space. Here couples know that no topic is off limits and having an impartial third party helps the couple open up about things they might not have been able to with other people. Ability to discuss sensitive/hard topics. Some subjects might seem too sensitive to discuss. Going for premarital counseling allows couples to talk freely without the fear of judgment or punishment. Couples will also be taught how to handle such topics in the future. Setting goals. Premarital counseling can help couples set their relational goals and be taught how to plan together. They will learn the tools they will need to succeed as a couple. Gain skills and tools. Like anything new we embark on in life, we need the necessary tools and skills. Marriage is no different. For it to work and stand the test of time, [...]

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How Do Happy Couples Resolve Their Differences in a Relationship?

How Do Happy Couples Resolve Their Differences in a Relationship?

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T08:57:26+00:00January 14th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Did you know that married happy couples report experiencing the same amount of conflict as their unmarried counterparts? According to the research conducted by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, the primary distinction between the two groups is how they handle arguments and disagreements within their relationships. What does it mean to be happy? For countless years, thinkers, clergymen, clergywomen, and mental health experts, along with many others, have argued about what constitutes happiness; nevertheless, happiness itself is a very subjective concept. Although the term “happiness” is frequently interchanged with terms such as “joy,” “pleasure,” and “glee” to refer to a transient emotion, happiness is more commonly used to refer to emotions of well-being and contentment that last for a longer period. The absence of sorrow, anxiety, or any other unfavorable feelings is not necessarily synonymous with contentment. Happiness, on the other hand, denotes a general sense of fulfillment and the tendency to evaluate one’s life as being positive, significant, and fruitful. Many different conceptions of happiness share certain characteristics, such as the following: Having a sense of contentment with how one’s life is progressing, holding oneself in high esteem while simultaneously being able to forgive oneself for past errors and failings. Discovering contentment in the little things in life and the people you love. Possessing multiple areas of success in life Possessing an upbeat attitude and a propensity to view challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles. embracing challenges as learning experiences and chances for advancement Taking responsibility for one’s happiness rather than allowing one’s feelings to be influenced by events or circumstances occurring outside of oneself. The science of happiness for couples Positive psychology is a subfield of psychology that focuses on happiness, well-being, and capitalizing on people’s talents. As a result, there is a growing interest among researchers [...]

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Coping with Parenthood Burnout

Coping with Parenthood Burnout

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T08:57:34+00:00December 21st, 2022|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Are you struggling with parenthood burnout? Do any of the following situations seem familiar? Colicky babies. Screaming toddlers. No babysitters. Around-the-clock feeds. Sleep deprivation. Financial strain. Behavior challenges. Constant touching/loud environments that leave you mentally and physically drained. Feelings of failure when trying to figure out a family/faith/career balance. Having to move away from family/support system due to jobs. Spouse long work hours/demanding travel schedules. While being a parent is one of life’s greatest treasures, it can also be one of the most demanding and depleting tasks you are faced with. While doting new parents are head-over-heels in love with their precious bundle of joy, it isn’t long before parents are thrown new curve balls and obstacles that need to be overcome. The weight of caring for, raising, and nurturing another life can feel like too much to carry alone. Sometimes parents who are feeling overwhelmed by circumstances and parenthood burnout do not want to ask for help, because they feel like it means they do not love their baby. Your feelings are valid. Feeling overwhelmed by parenthood means you are human. If you feel overwhelmed because your baby won’t sleep, you aren’t alone. If you feel overcome with postpartum anxiety/depression, you aren’t alone. If you feel so tired and drained that you could fall asleep standing up, you aren’t alone. If you wish you had a trusted babysitter or family around to help, you aren’t alone. If you do not know how to ask for help, you aren’t alone. How to Cope with Parenthood Burnout If you are wondering what to do next as you navigate the trenches of parenthood, consider these steps: Make the call or send the text. If you have a trusted friend or family member who can watch your kids for a few hours so [...]

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How to Help Your Depressed Husband

How to Help Your Depressed Husband

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T13:55:28+00:00December 1st, 2022|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

When you got married, you promised to love and take care of your partner through good times and bad. Even though it may have been easy to stay together when you were both happy, your vows are put to the test when one of you is depressed. Having a depressed husband can make you feel alone. You might feel like you’re the only one in the world going through this. About sixteen million Americans have depression. Depression can happen to anyone, no matter how old they are, what gender they are, or how much they know about mental health. One partner being depressed can make it harder to keep a marriage together, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail just because one of you is depressed. You and your partner can have a happy, fulfilling relationship. By learning how to deal with a depressed partner, you can go from being frustrated to being able to keep your marriage as happy as you both know it can be. What causes depression? Even though no one knows for sure what causes depression, doctors think it has to do with a mix of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. That is to say, your partner could be depressed because it’s in their genes or because they’re going through a hard time or a traumatic event. Different things can cause depression in men and women. Women are almost twice as likely as men to be told they have depression. There are some biological reasons for this, such as the fact that hormone levels change before and after pregnancy and before and after menopause. There are also cultural factors that make women more likely to be depressed, like having to deal with extra stress to build high-powered careers and do most of the [...]

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Getting to Grips with Boundaries in Relationships

Getting to Grips with Boundaries in Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T08:57:53+00:00August 4th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

The concept of “boundaries” has become popular in recent years, with many books and articles appearing on the topic. It can, however, be difficult to get to grips with, and where boundaries in relationships are lacking, the issue can be even harder to identify and resolve. What exactly are boundaries? Just as physical boundaries in the world represent the beginning and end of things – walls, traffic lanes, state lines – so too do these concepts apply to the self and relationships. A personal boundary delineates where a person ends, and another person begins and leads to a sense of ownership for what an individual is thereby responsible for. They are responsible for themselves – their body, feelings, thoughts, choices, desires, behaviors, and so forth. When boundaries in relationships are firmly in place, there can be freedom to enjoy the blessing of that particular type of companionship, and the idea of boundaries need not be considered in any way. When, however, we ascertain that we are taking responsibility for someone else’s property, such as their thoughts or feelings, etc., or we are controlling someone or they are controlling us, it is a warning sign that boundaries lines have been confused. Feeling hurt is also an indication of breached boundaries, as is resentment or bitterness creeping into relationships. If you constantly feel tired or stressed, and yet are powerless to say no to additional demands, a boundary problem could also be lurking. In these instances, it would be extremely helpful to have some sessions with a trained Christian counselor, who will guide you through ascertaining where “property ownership” is being contested, and assist in navigating you back to having healthy boundaries in relationships. Boundaries in Relationships: Marriage Patterns As Christians, we believe that marriage is a covenant relationship where “two [...]

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