Coping with Parenthood Burnout

Are you struggling with parenthood burnout? Do any of the following situations seem familiar?

• Colicky babies.
• Screaming toddlers.
• No babysitters.
• Around-the-clock feeds.
• Sleep deprivation.
• Financial strain.
• Behavior challenges.
• Constant touching/loud environments that leave you mentally and physically drained.
• Feelings of failure when trying to figure out a family/faith/career balance.
• Having to move away from family/support system due to jobs.
• Spouse long work hours/demanding travel schedules.

While being a parent is one of life’s greatest treasures, it can also be one of the most demanding and depleting tasks you are faced with. While doting new parents are head-over-heels in love with their precious bundle of joy, it isn’t long before parents are thrown new curve balls and obstacles that need to be overcome.

The weight of caring for, raising, and nurturing another life can feel like too much to carry alone. Sometimes parents who are feeling overwhelmed by circumstances and parenthood burnout do not want to ask for help, because they feel like it means they do not love their baby. Your feelings are valid. Feeling overwhelmed by parenthood means you are human.

• If you feel overwhelmed because your baby won’t sleep, you aren’t alone.
• If you feel overcome with postpartum anxiety/depression, you aren’t alone.
• If you feel so tired and drained that you could fall asleep standing up, you aren’t alone.
• If you wish you had a trusted babysitter or family around to help, you aren’t alone.
• If you do not know how to ask for help, you aren’t alone.

How to Cope with Parenthood Burnout

If you are wondering what to do next as you navigate the trenches of parenthood, consider these steps:

Make the call or send the text. If you have a trusted friend or family member who can watch your kids for a few hours so you can go on a date with your spouse or just get away and drink a cup of coffee in peace, ask them! We all need people who can rally together during difficult times and let them know that they do not have to experience everything alone.

If you do not have someone you trust to watch your kids, start by taking turns with your spouse so you can take a mental reset and find some calm amidst the chaos. Think about people at church or in your group of friends who might be able to help you find a trusted babysitter in the future. You can start by just letting the person come over and get to know your kids and see how they interact. Small strides can equate to major rejuvenation.

If they are old enough, involve your kids in tasks at home. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the endless to-dos of raising a family, try making it fun and it might turn into a memory you will cherish forever. Turn on some music and make it an “unload the dishwasher” or “vacuum the carpets” dance party.

Try singing “Jesus Loves Me” while your toddler picks up their toys. It is important to find subtle and unique ways to include your family, which teaches them valuable lessons while helping to lighten your load.

Be transparent with your spouse. If you are struggling with postpartum anxiety, feeling alone, or just need to go on a quick jog in the neighborhood to clear your head – talk to your spouse. Let vulnerability seep through your conversations. Parenthood is a journey that you do not want to face alone. It can draw you closer together if you are an open book with one another.

Don’t jam-pack your schedule or set unrealistic expectations. Sometimes one of the most challenging parts of new parenthood is trying to adjust to life based on someone else’s schedule. Before kids meant you could drop by the gym after work or leave at 6:00 AM for a girl’s shopping trip weekend without hesitation or much planning.

You are now trying to figure out how to best care for this tiny human while figuring out who you are now. You might feel things differently or feel like you are losing a part of yourself. You do not have to try to prove that you are a superhuman.

It is okay to be figuring it out. Take it one day at a time. You do not need to have all the answers. It is okay if schedules and plans change and evolve. It is okay if you aren’t always thirty minutes early for everything like you were before you had children.

Don’t expect perfect children. Children have big feelings. They are also trying to navigate what they are feeling and who they are. They do not always know how to feel. They cling to familiarity and secure attachments.

In a world where we feel like everyone is staring at us in public places and making constant comments that our “hands are full,” it is important to remember that we are all human. Kids have good days and off days.

They have places where they feel safe and places that make them feel apprehensive. They often let loose around mom and dad with their big feelings because you are their safe place. Offer grace when you can. Try to take deep breaths and make time for emotional and physical resets.

The repetitive cycles of parenting are important. While parenting does have phases that often feel robotic, it is important to remember that the work you are doing matters. The newborn stage is full of around-the-clock feeds and constant diaper changes, but you just brought new life into the world that is growing and developing at a rapid rate.

The toddler stage is full of constantly running around and trying to keep them safe from whatever their curious minds want to get into, but you are helping their brains develop and giving them a loving environment to explore and develop a sense of adventure.

The school age is full of chauffeuring them around to school and activities, helping with homework, and seeing them start to become their own little person. This is the age where you can be a part of helping instill dreams, build confidence, and develop a kind heart for serving others.

While parenthood can feel like an endless cycle of thankless tasks, you are playing a pivotal role in their emotional, physical, and spiritual development.

Your work matters.

• Whether your children are in diapers, or you are helping them prepare for their first school talent show audition – it matters.
• Look to your spouse for support. Invite authenticity to your conversations.
• Cling to God and His Word for rest and reset.
• Take time to date your spouse and find someone you can count on when the days feel endless and overwhelming.

Schedule an appointment today with a counselor at our office who can guide you through the ups and downs of the parenting journey.

Whether your past keeps knocking and trying to creep into your thoughts and tell you that you aren’t doing enough, or you are feeling burned out and unable to figure out the best decisions for your family, the counselors at our office want to offer support and an emotional toolbox to guide you in your journey.

Scriptures to remind you that God can give you rest:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. – Psalm 71:14

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6